Moving from Lack to Abundance
I’m a very privileged upper-middle class woman. Life is good for me and even when things have been tough, I’m incredibly fortunate to have the life that I do.
(Bear with me… I’m not just going to bang on about how good my life is!)
I was raised by amazing parents who provided (and still help provide) for my every need - emotional, mental, financial, physical… I was cared for. And loved. And I knew it. I went to a good school. Got good grades. Had every opportunity to pursue my interests. Was never berated or belittled, was always uplifted and encouraged. Attended university, supported entirely by my parents. Learned. Got internships. Entered the workforce. Could afford to have fun and recreation. Never had to worry about whether my life would take a downward spiral. Had my health problems resolved relatively easily. Had everything in the world to be thankful for…
But often, I was miserable.
I wasn’t always grateful.
And most of the time, I defined myself by my perceived suffering.
In childhood, I was overweight. I suffered some injuries. I was bullied. I spent my teens battling anorexia. I had insomnia. I developed depression and anxiety in my early 20s. I developed ongoing back pain that I’ve dealt with daily, since then. I used sexuality as currency. I was confused about my identity. I operated solely from a place of insecurity and disguised brazen outspokenness as a ‘confidence’ (when I was anything but confident).
I defined myself by everything that I thought was wrong with me, wrong with my life. Not good enough. Too much of this and not enough of that.
I allowed the shadow of the night to eclipse the morning and in doing so, I failed to see the absolute abundance of blessings in my life…
… and I also failed to see that every trial, tribulation and challenge (whether ‘real’ or perceived) was a lesson that I needed to learn. None of this suffering or turmoil was wasted in God’s plan for my life, I just didn’t see it at the time.
You see, I wasn’t walking with Christ. I was walking with myself. Selfishness, righteousness, false idolatry and rampant, rampant sin. I didn’t see anything wrong with the way that I was living, and I occasionally dabbled in prayer… but only when I wanted something.
I wasn’t sincere in my intentions.
Now, walking with Christ, realising that I've lived a lot of my life in a mindset of LACK has been such a horrible realisation...
Because even when I wasn't walking with God, he was always walking with me.
Even when I wasn't appreciative of my circumstances, I've had nothing but a privilege.
Even when I felt totally alone, I had people loving, supporting and cheering me on.
Even when I felt like my life was horrid, I had every opportunity and everything to be grateful for.
...I just didn't see it.
...I was living blind.
...I was walking in the dark, refusing to switch the light on.
I was convinced that it was all dark but it was ME who chose not to turn the light on, not to open my eyes, not to strive for more or to let God into my heart. I got addicted to the darkness.
Addicted to complaining. Addicted to chaos, negativity and drama.
Have you ever felt like this?
The complaining, the chaos, the negativity and drama that I so heavily protested against was actually kept in place by me subconsciously to try to protect myself. Little did subconscious me realise, all that it did was fuel my self-imposed, completely baseless false victimhood complex. Which further allowed me to indulge in chaos while maintaining the illusion of protesting it.
It’s sick. It’s subconscious. And it’s surprisingly common… so I have no hesitation in sharing this truth of my journey, because I know that I’m far from the only person to have experienced it.
My false victimhood allowed me to feel 'hard done by' when in reality, what I chose to see as crippling obstacles were lessons wrapped up as inconveniences.
It allowed me to turn a blind eye to the problems of the world because my own problems were ‘so much more important’.
How wrong I was.
I know that now.
How amazing it is to have God shine a spotlight on your mistakes, sins, faults and shortcomings... so that you can move from a mindset of lack to a mindset of total ABUNDANCE and gratitude.
Friends, whatever you take from this, I hope that it prompts you to reflect on your life.
All of us have instances of genuine lack - whatever they may be - but I also know that God gives us all genuine opportunities. Sometimes these opportunities might seem minuscule, or not worth banking on… but God also tells us that he can take our faith the size of a mustard seed and turn it into more than enough.
So today I ask you… what opportunities has God given you? What opportunities is he giving you now? How might you seize them - and make the very act of doing so a divine act of worship?
There are great things in store for your life, far more than any lack or challenge that may come your way.
Friends, trust when God tells us that we are more than conquerors.
More than enough.
More than worthy.
A Prayer for Overcoming a Mindset of Lack:
“God, illuminate your plan for my life and allow me to see who YOU say I am, not who I’ve always thought I am.
I know that your blessings always rain down but sometimes God, I let the water get in my eyes and my vision gets clouded. Please God, help clear my vision… give me clarity to see the blessings pouring down and give me a heart of appreciation… of deep gratitude… of servitude. You tell us God that you bless us so that we may overflow these blessings onto others, and I’m ready to truly receive my blessings so that I can do the work that You set out for me.
I trust Your vision for me. I trust Your vision for my life. And I will follow where You lead me.
In Jesus mighty name, Amen.”